Category: Introspect
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The Trudge
To walk with purpose, not always with alacrity, not always with the weight of the world, just walking. When I was hiking years ago with my friends, it was all about point a. to point b.. The trail ahead of me my focused task on so many occasions that I often ignored my surroundings. Yes,…
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States of Play
Learning, information, insights, and understanding, those are the things that I myself look for in my life. I am not the best at it, but I am the only one that can do it. In a world that I simply wanted to fit into, I have found out that fitting is a matter of embracing…
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Commencement
The twisted irony is not wasted on this mind. Here I am the day before my fifty-second birthday and I am thinking about what I am going to say at the college’s commencement ceremony. That is not the real irony though, this is for my GED class that I am speaking for – at my…
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Existential Crescendo
I was told by more than one person that a writer just writes. I can’t argue that at all because as much as I would love to stop it altogether, I can’t. It pains me not to take to the words and expressions that fill my mind and my days. It could very well be…
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Life and Fireworks
When you are my age and the Doctor sends you to the Cardiologist, there are a lot of things that went through this mind. When the Cardiologist sends you downtown to get an angiogram and the possibility of even as much as bypass surgery anticipated, a lot more went on in this mind of mine.…
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Reflections of Kind
A friend was commenting on a post I had put up. Someone in the program and it was an antagonist position that he was taking. I didn’t think anything of it until I was looking at another friend’s wall and found posts about punishing those who believe differently than he does politically. Another friend in…
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Shouting Into the Din
These last four and a half years has been incredible and wondrous, and at the same time fraught with frustration and reflection. When someone loses their good health it is not always apparent. The thing is though, when someone tells you repeatedly over that time that they are not well, but ill, there is a…
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Meandering… Well
I reached for a thought and it slipped quickly through my grasp. I began to look for the next and did not find any more within reach that had a form. I knew the process, half hunting, half fishing, I could only see some of them if I was lucky and the others could only…
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Adulting – Pit Stops
This week I took what is called an Accuplacer test. It was for college, and I didn’t do very well on the writing part of it. Let me rephrase that, I tanked it. As people well know there are many different styles of writing, apparently what I do here is the creative type. What they…
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The Sin
A sin in Archery terms, means to miss the mark. That is how this day and quarter of school looks like at the moment. My health has set me back again this quarter and it looks like I missed my opportunity to go to college. In what would seem to be a simple mistake, not…
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The Smoothing Ripples
Turbulence is always going to be a part of life, mine is no different. I am finding myself at a point of great optimism and at the same time despair. Can I do it? Can I wholly become that new person physically and mentally? Last Summer was a good part of the answer, I was…
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The Changing Blanket
Engulfed in change, at times it feels like a warming blanket falling into all the right places. Other times though it is a hole riddled tattered rag that lets the cold in. These days feel a lot like the latter with the first one within reach at least. Sure, there are health issues and getting…
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Broken Beauty
Kintsukuroi, or Kintsugi As a philosophy, kintsugi can be seen to have similarities to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, an embracing of the flawed or imperfect.[10][11] Japanese aesthetics values marks of wear by the use of an object. This can be seen as a rationale for keeping an object around even after it has broken and as a justification…
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Fall Change
So I am back at this blog, the other one is too chaotic and busy. I thought I would have this one done by now, oh well. I started going to school to finish up some education. My plan was to keep going and possibly get a masters in something and go from there. I…
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The Din and Brilliance
In this time of deep examination of not just myself but of my environs, the natural tendency I have to go into the existential aspects of things come out. Like a drunk trying to stand upright with a VR headset and Riding the Roller Coaster app; It can be fun, it can upset my stomach;…
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The Skin of the Spirit
These last few months have left me examining at a deeper depth the things that bind me, and my environments together. It is just another way of saying that I have been presented in many ways shapes and forms the concepts of the word integrity and much that it entails and much that it may…