These last few months have left me examining at a deeper depth the things that bind me, and my environments together. It is just another way of saying that I have been presented in many ways shapes and forms the concepts of the word integrity and much that it entails and much that it may not. As the world and definitions of the very ways of us change, certain aspects of this individual mandate that has become a cog of the psyche of us – need to be examined. Integrity, like most words I know has a definitive meaning, yet the places where it can be found are more numerous than once imagined. Words are knowledge, actions – experiences, and integrity the skin of the spirit that folds and wrinkles yet keeps it all inside.
1.the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.“he is known to be a man of integrity”
synonyms: honesty, probity, rectitude, honor, good character, principle(s), ethics, morals, righteousness, morality, virtue, decency, fairness, scrupulousness, sincerity, truthfulness, trustworthiness“I never doubted his integrity”
2.the state of being whole and undivided.“upholding territorial integrity and national sovereignty”
synonyms: unity, unification, coherence, cohesion, togetherness, solidarity“the integrity of the federation”
I believe the first guiding definition of that word was growing up with the Golden Rule, in all of its own forms. Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. In that ideal to live by, forms of right and wrong took shape and my integrity had begun its all too individualistic defining. If I was going to define an integrity though, I should understand its other aspects, its other covert or overt pieces that define the defining.
Politics and Religion is a waste of time, I have always been disappointed by the expectations of what they say they are and what they should be. I have yet to meet one person though that has disappointed my expectations of what they should be and what they are. Being in itself is an exercise in Integrity.
The different parts of this paint by number appearing ideal and causeway change and grow, sustain and devolve. Unity, honesty, morals and ethics to name but a few are parts of the painting that sets the tone of either a Happy Tree of Bob Ross, or a sledgehammered face of Pusshead. Somewhere in the middle of all of that an integrity develops to at least keep you from coloring outside of the lines too much. An ouch to the soul, or the body, or brain defines what you don’t care for yourself; So why give it out?…
In this finding and trying to find the lines that define my coloring of my spirit; To simply be more honest with myself. In this part of recovery where I am almost lost in the freedom of lucid thoughts again, I find myself defining the words and principles around me. Not for a more restricted life or a narrower acceptance, but in opening up all that they encompass, and the joys, pains, and learning that comes from that. It is not a suffering process, it is enlightening; I find that my learning about my spirit comes best when it is guided by that very spirit and its connection to a power greater than myself. It is within what I am able to give up, that I am finding cohesion between that clearing out of my secret place and finding room after room of just light to reside in.
That power though is hotly debated, shared and unshared and thought to reside in in only this sect or that by many. If that is the case then why is the evidence such the contrary? Either a firm belief for or a firm belief against are both belief systems. The question is though, how come without any real guidance in that area do we feel we need a belief system? Anarchy isn’t a form of living, circle back to the Golden Rule. From our first breaths and first inputs of this world we develop a do and do not list, breathe? Check; Open eyes? Check; Food? Yes, please. From the hot plates to the sharp scissors, the bounce off the floor from a bad fall, a smile, a frown, a slap on the rear. There is your answer for a belief system, unlike some of my dearest friends, not everyone enjoys a good spanking.
A belief system created from the very core of our actions and experiences. Something as personal and as amazingly similar to millions of other souls around us, and far far from us. That is the big integrity, the one that in my opinion tells me we are getting closer to that evolution of our humanness. That integrity that we are so so very preciously different; Just like the Universe and all of its points of light. Yet we are all so vastly connected that we really cannot fathom that connection as a whole, and maybe we aren’t supposed to. I don’t know has been a good answer so far, and I have never been disappointed with any answer or non-answer that I have received.
It is a bit uncommon for someone like me to have a theme of a concept and word like this for so long. I am more like the kid who uses words like Lego’s; Always wondering what I can create next. This plan though has been flopping around between my few brain cells for a while now and I will get into it again. I guess you could say that integrity of thought and finding those rooms of light have left me with a lot of trudging to do. I gladly walk it with a grace I once not knew, with a wrinkled and aged, joyous and free – Skin of the Spirit.